My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
