Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
