Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You're like the curious george of whores
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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