So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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