It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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