...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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