we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I didn't notice because vodka
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
