bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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