She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
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Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
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Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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