Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
