dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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