The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
