im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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