Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
