just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
