i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
