I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
