I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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