would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
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why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
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I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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