Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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