Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...

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  (602): i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number... http://tfl.nu/4ee1
  Replies (10) Good night (2050) Bad night (489)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?

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  (847): so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ywt9
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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  (931): I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds http://tfl.nu/gekw
  Replies (20) Good night (1080) Bad night (3486) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".

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  (636): Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional". http://tfl.nu/cis7
  Replies (10) Good night (4310) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  He obviously understands you completely.

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  (206): He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes... (1-206): He obviously understands you completely. http://tfl.nu/r2fl
  Replies (7) Good night (4760) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.

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  (740): Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins. http://tfl.nu/qxz4
  Replies (39) Good night (8255) Bad night (996) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.

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  (978): i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running. http://tfl.nu/jcc8
  Replies (76) Good night (16208) Bad night (1839)
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  (707): View more from California

  I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister

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  (707): I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister http://tfl.nu/vdmj
  Replies (7) Good night (2346) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....

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  (806): You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping.... http://tfl.nu/mb43
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?

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  (970): Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears? http://tfl.nu/m0sz
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (898)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  What's an angry pirate?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

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  (702): I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again. (712): What's an angry pirate? (702): You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/pzvl
  Replies (31) Good night (1027) Bad night (1469)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.

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  (636): Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year. http://tfl.nu/cp8d
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  I told you to check, dude

  (904): View more from Florida

  Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.

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  (904): Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday. (1-904): I told you to check, dude (904): Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out. http://tfl.nu/ef5z
  Replies (14) Good night (1334) Bad night (397)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  This has been a Party Success Story

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  (719): The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets. (719): This has been a Party Success Story http://tfl.nu/swco
  Replies (7) Good night (854) Bad night (167)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.

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  (217): I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times. http://tfl.nu/aihm
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt

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