Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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