this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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