masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
it glows. i had to have it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize