Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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