So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
