Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
