feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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