Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
