normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
