I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
