Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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