During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
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He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
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Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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