Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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