thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
