Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you inspire me to be a worse person
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
