At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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