while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize