i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
