His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
why is half of my head shaved?
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