that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
