i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize