But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.