I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
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Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
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Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone