yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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