Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
