I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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