We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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