4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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