I would go down on you faster than GM stock
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
