I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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