all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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