Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
