So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
