This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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