I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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