I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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