I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
